Letter of Recommendation for Barack Obama

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To Whom It May Concern:

Although it seems like Mr. Barack Obama has worked as my president for much longer than seven years, I am thrilled to hear that he is pursuing a new position. You will be very lucky if you can get him to work for you.

As a voter, citizen and taxpayer, I have been in a position to directly oversee Barack’s professional development and in short, I can’t recommend him highly enough. I’m confident you’ll be as shocked by his skill set as I am. As for his leadership qualities, where does one begin? It is difficult to put into words exactly why you should put your trust in Mr. Obama but suffice it to say you will be startled at the quality of his work. By the time he concludes his employment with us I believe there won’t be a man, woman or child in America who isn’t greatly indebted.

Before joining our team, Mr. Obama was a senator from Illinois, a state so bankrupt that it can’t even afford to pay its lottery winners. In his role as President of the United States, Mr. Obama reported directly to me, the American citizen. His signature accomplishment during his tenure was signing into law the Affordable Care Act, or “Obamacare” for short. (I’ve attached a pdf. Nowadays, of course, one has time read it in its entirety while in your doctor’s waiting room).

Before Mr. Obama, the formerly part-time position of President had been held predominantly by individuals who strove first and foremost to demonstrate basic competency at the job. Some were more successful than others, of course, but all understood – or thought they understood – the job’s limitations. Executing the nation’s laws is, as you know, not particularly glamorous. Previous hires had mostly adopted a modest approach to the job, which seemed fitting given that it requires, among other things, pretending to take Lindsey Graham seriously.

Mr. Obama’s is very certain of his goals and very dedicated to achieving them. If anything, Mr. Obama was at times too eager to complete tasks successfully and quickly, which ultimately serves as proof of his dedicated ambition to succeed and excel. He made it very clear from day one his intention to fundamentally change things around here. At this, he succeeded. In fact, many of us hardly recognize the place anymore!

In his capacity as president, Mr. Obama was a valuable asset to Democrats as he personally contributed greatly to the expansion and promotion of its greatest asset, the government. And thanks to historically low interest rates, a reluctance to increase taxes and cheap loans from China, government is now cheaper than ever. Need I say more?

If you have any questions or require further information about Mr. Obama, please do not hesitate to contact me.



David Deeble, Concerned Citizen

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Event Production and the Most Important Person in the Room

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“Boarding the plane this morning I very politely asked the gentleman in the seat behind me if he would mind swapping seats with me so that *** wife and I could sit together.”

Crickets. Silence. Due to a technical snag the audience missed only one, three-letter word. But that’s all it takes. A comedian knows where the laughs go but an audience, hearing the story for the first time, has to figure out for themselves. To do that, they need to be able to hear every single word.

The technical aspects of event production aren’t as mundane as they may seem: don’t spend a lot of money on a remarkable speaker or entertainer without ensuring that the sound is equally remarkable.

“Boarding the plane this morning I very politely asked the gentleman in the seat behind me if he would mind swapping seats with me so that his wife and I could sit together.”

Laughter. Magic. Connection.

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Mediocrity: The Ultimate Safe Space

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Mediocrity kills careers but seems to increase job security. The latter part of this formulation is mediocrity’s chief appeal and why it’s so widespread, whether you’re dealing with an airline representative or an internet service provider.

Examples are so commonplace they no longer warrant notice. The service rep who refers to you as “the next customer.” The words sound taught and they of course they are. What was wrong with “May I help you?” Rapport, fellow-feeling, conversation – anything that can’t be taught is subsumed in a frantic desire to make customers go away.

Much of what informs mediocrity is fear and a desire to conform: fear of failure and a desire to conform to convention. But if you want to get people talking about your product or service – if you want people remarking to others about it – then it must be worthy of remarking upon.

Return to daviDDeeble.com or see  to magicians from around the world.

The Climate Circus Comes To Paris

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(Note: this was originally published at Ricochet.com).

Paris – I miss the days when the circus rolled into town on a sleepy train in the middle of the night rather on luxury private planes and chartered jets in the middle of the day. But then again, this is no ordinary circus, kids. It’s the Climate Circus! Where the folly of group action plays out before our eyes in such exotic locals as Marrakech, Lima and Doha. And this week, Paris. Only a few weeks after Islamist terror attacks killed 130 people in the heart of the city. As John Kerry might say, what more evidence do you need to believe that climate change has already begun?

The United Nations Climate Conference is where where expectations come to be lowered and grand schemes come to die. The fairy tale always begins on a note of optimism – ideally some kind of “grand bargain” on climate – only to settle for a vague statement calling to offset the conference’s carbon footprint “around 2050.”

There is good news on the climate front: ISIS recently announced its plan to cut its greenhouse emissions to pre-750 A.D. levels, and I believe them. Concerned entrepreneurs like Elon Husk have called for Toyota drivers worldwide to pay reparations for their recent historic environmental sinning, unwitting though they were. And North Korea continues to drastically cut it’s greenhouse gasses for some reason we can’t talk about. But mainly things don’t look good on the climate front: winters remain very cold and summers very hot because capitalism.

President Obama called ISIS’s proposal a “climate posturing” and a “jayvee solution to a varsity problem,” adding that global warming poses too great a threat to allow America to lead from behind. He also reiterated his complaint that Republican critics of his foreign policy are merely “popping” off, which is funny because popping off is the essence of his ISIS strategy.

The pointless enviro-drama that is the UNCC reminds me of Circus Soleil: too big a budget, over-produced and utterly pretentious. California Democrats are, as usual, on the leading edge in the fight against climate change – or any kind of change, for that matter. Governor Jerry Brown has called for more research and development on lunar energy for crying out loud: you can take “Moonbeam” out of a man’s name but you can’t remove him from the gravitational pull of environmentalism.

Return to daviDDeeble.com or watch a talk I gave recently about my transformation from conventional to comedy juggler.