Cree, Sioux Nations Acknowledge Building Casinos On Each Other’s Ancient Homelands


In an unprecedented development, two Native American tribes have issued public acknowledgments recognizing the other’s original stewardship of the land upon which their respective gaming establishments are built.

Sioux Nation’s popular Slot Land has transformed Cree’s ancient hunting grounds into a popular gaming destination for locals and tourists alike. Similarly, Cree Nation’s Gaming Palace is built on the Sioux’s holiest burial site.

Sioux Nation’s land acknowledgment expresses sorrow for building North America’s largest Let-It-Ride tournament where Cree civilization thrived for more than a thousand years before the birth of George Washington. For its part, Cree Nation’s land acknowledgement specifically expresses regret for hosting the incredibly profitable World Series of Poker directly above the grave of the Sioux’s most revered chief, Sitting Bull.

At time of writing both tribes are claiming to have the loosest slots west of the Mississippi River.





10 Worst-Named Kentucky Derby Winners

1876: Bad Bet

Bad Bet was a good bet in the debut of the Kentucky Derby. The longest-shot winner in the history of the race, its official odds were listed as “n/a”.

1894: Eisenstein’s Theory Of Film Montage

This horse has the distinction of being the only Derby winner to complete the race in less time than it takes to say his name. Oddly, this horse was named before Eisenstein developed his theory of film montage.

1901: Slow News Day 

Slow News Day was apparently born on Writers Block Day. Nothing entices gamblers to bet on a long shot like a horse with the word “slow” in its name.

1902: Slow-Developing Play In The Backfield

Not to be outdone by the owners of Slow News Day, the owners of Slow Developing Play In The Backfield managed to include in one name the word “slow” and an ill-advised short-yardage play from football. Kudos!

1910: Statistically Insignificant 

Difficult to pronounce and despised by broadcasters, this horse’s name was often simplified to “Plus-Or-Minus-Five-Percent”.

1921: The Clap

Over 70 years after the discovery of penicillin, this horses name still isn’t funny. After winning the triple crown, The Clap’s owner was imprisoned without charges or controversy.

1925: Niggardly Pissant

Let’s just say that Niggardly Pissant reached peak fitness during a more literate time than our own. The source of outrage among the uneducated, uninformed and – at the risk of repetition – Democrats, Niggardly Pissant was also the focus of protests that were as nebulous as they were passionate.

1960: Ill-advised

This self-describing horse name belonged to a 20-1 long-shot but won the Derby after every other horse in the race was famously disqualified at the request of Frank Sinatra.

1969: Ampers&nd

The arrival of Ampers&nd signified the mournful beginning of unpronounceable celebrity names. (Ampers&nd is also the sire of the 1965 Kentucky Derby winner, ♌).

1997: Fourskin

Even while leading from start to finish, dim-witted broadcasters gleefully described the 1997 winner of the Kentucky Derby as having been “cut off down the backstretch.”