Exceptional Countries: Ranked

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10: South Sudan (world’s newest country)

9: Brazil (hosted World Cup, to host Olympics)

8: Germany (still scoring against Brazil, apparently)

7: North Korea (Elvis)

6: Canada (so big it could be it’s own country. Heh heh, American humor.)

5: Mexico: (number one exporter of Guatemalan babies)

4: United States (number one importer of Guatemalan babies)

3: South Africa (legless man vomiting in courtroom)

2: Iraq (what is it now?)

1: Russia (because a broken clock apparently can be wrong all day)

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The 20 Most-Overlooked Newspaper Headlines Of 2013

Deeble_Fire

This entry was originally published at Ricochet.com.

Younger readers may not be aware that the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and other news sources have offline editions, typically printed on paper and sometimes even delivered to your doorstep. Many of the print-edition headlines of 2013 grabbed us by the lapels and demanded our attention. However, several important developments disappeared down the memory hole almost as soon as they became breaking news. Below are the large headlines of 2013 which should make conservatives cheer, weep or don a onesie and move back with their parents.

1: Congress Deems Man’s Liver Too Big To Fail (NYT)

2: Constitution Dubbed “Obstructionist” (San Jose Mercury News)

3: Paul Krugman Wins Academy Award For Economics (Boston Globe)

4: Budget Shortfalls Force States To Choose Between Boondoggles (NYT)

5: Car Insurance Companies Made To Cover Pre-Existing Damage (LAT)

6: Planned Economy Not Going As Planned

7: Term-Limits Platform Launches Candidate To Decades-Long Career In Congress (USA Today)

8: Captain America Found Broke, Living Off Children And Cheap Loans From China (WAPO)

9: Discarded Climate Model Halfway Decent At Predicting American League East (Chicago Sun-Times)

10: Physicists Awed By Complexity Of U.S. Tax Code

11: Pentagon: Second Half Of Afghan War To Be “Even Better” Than First

12: Would-Be Mugging Victim Pleads The Second (Investors Business Daily)

13: American Dream Now Selling A Home (Tampa Bay Times)

14: Nation Braces For Next Act Of Bipartisanship

15: Grievance Industry Records Record Profits

16: Liberal Golfer Demands Second Mulligan

17: Millennials Demand Reparations For National Debt

18: Family Man Works Tirelessly To Provide For IRS (Dallas Morning News)

19: Entire Generation Staring Up At Social Safety Net (Boston Globe)

20: Career Politician Considers Going Legit (Seattle Times)

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