Sometimes A Strip Poker Invite Is Just A Strip Poker Invite

Even Freud recognized that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

As embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (D) fights off allegations ranging from the unserious (covering up the number of Covid deaths in state nursing homes) to the very serious (complimenting a woman’s haircut), it’s time our culture readdressed power dynamics, sexual harassment, and the #MeToo movement. 

According to an AP report, a former member of the governor’s administration said that Cuomo suggested that they should play strip poker. Many readers, including myself, are asking the question has that ever worked?

Our era is one in which everything is fraught with a hidden meaning, usually of a sexual nature. Long gone are the days when a man can innocently invite an unpaid female intern who’s young enough to be his daughter to play strip poker without it being interpreted as something inappropriate. Men have been reminded repeatedly that No means no. This is as it should be. But shouldn’t it be equally clear that “Would you like to play a form of poker with me in which the player with the losing hand forfeits an item of clothing until we’re both naked?” means exactly that and nothing else? Why does everything have to be seen through a sexual lens? 

Frankly I don’t even see the connection. What – is the idea that proposing to a subordinate that repairing to a cozy place where we can enjoy little privacy and play some cards in the nude somehow has sexual overtones? I honestly don’t get it. 

Now don’t get me wrong: one should never make such a proposal. Not because of any alleged sexual connotation but because it’s a cliché. What could be more hackneyed than me, a 50-year old man living on a juggler’s salary trying to earn a little a few bucks off the new hire with an all-night round of strip poker? 

If the people of New York believe Cuomo should resign, then he should do so. I have nothing personal against him. In fact, some of my best friends have made utterly counterintuitive decisions which cost the lives of thousands of people and then attempted to cover it up. 

This just in: Cuomo has received a special Granny Award™ for his handling of the Covid crisis.

Cuomo Receives Special Emmy For Nursing Home Cover Up

Having become the first politician receive the Emmy’s coveted Founders Award for his 111 press briefing in 2020, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo will receive a second Emmy for his role as a tough-as-nails Democrat of immense probity who in reality was covering up the fatal consequences of his decision to send Covid-positive patients to recover in upstate nursing homes.

On March 2, 2020, Cuomo conducted a media briefing from Manhattan to delude New Yorkers and the public at large about the coronavirus outbreak that was just starting to be recognized as a massive public health threat. The 110 briefings that followed would be aired on CNN, MSNBC and other fake news outlets.

Cuomo’s lies, angry deflections and refusal to take any responsibility for policy mistakes have reinforced his image as the kind of governor New Yorkers deserve. Cuomo is especially popular in the state’s urban areas: on Thursday approximately 10,000 people gathered in Central Park chanting “Thank you sir may I have another” while supporters in Buffalo marched downtown carrying banners which read “Cuomo-Spitzer 2024.”

At press time the Pulitzer Prize Board was hastily creating a special award for Cuomo’s book American Crisis: Leadership Lessons from the Covid-19 Pandemic.