Three Tips For Emcees

Screen Shot 2014-09-09 at 9.07.28 AMBeing an emcee isn’t easy. You’re the first one to show up and the last one to leave. You’ve got introductions to familiarize yourself with and must manage the on-again, off-again energy requirements associated with the job.

There are a lot of details that go into doing the job well. Here are three simple things to keep in mind to avoid audience’s lumping you into the “mediocre emcee” category.

Stop telling the audience to “Give it up for _____” after each performer.

Give it up? Really? Why not instruct the audience to “Put out” while you’re at it? The same goes for “Make some noise”. Your audience consists of 21-century adults, not Neanderthals with a metal trash can a mallet. It’s grating enough to hear such instructions at a Toledo comedy club, much less for an audience of professionals.  Simply repeat the performers name and allow her to take her applause.

Don’t divulge a performer’s name until the end of the introduction.

This one is a common mistake among people with little or no experience public speaking:

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’re very proud to have a very funny entertainer with us this evening. David Deeble has performed on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and we are happy to have him with us tonight. Please welcome David Deeble”.

Sometimes the emcee, realizing he has prematurely divulged the entertainer’s name, will make matters worse by failing to repeat the performer’s name at the end of the introduction: “Tonight’s entertainer is a wonderful comedian named David Deeble. He has appeared on Last Comic Standing and is a regular at The Magic Castle in Hollywood. So please welcome him.”

How’s that for a fine how do you do? Next time I’d prefer you simply grunt while pointing at me in the back of the room.

Stop cramming all your enthusiasm and energy into the last line of the introduction.

This is an annoying one: the emcee employes a well-modulated speaking voice throughout the program except when it comes to the very last line of each speaker’s introduction, at which point, in an effort to whip the audience into a last-minute frenzy, he gradually raises the volume and intensity of his delivery.

What do you think you’re emceeing, the World Wrestling Federation? We’re grown-ups, for crying out loud. Do you fear we won’t applaud if you introduce each performer in a well-modulated speaking voice?

This fear that you’ll introduce a performer to little or no applause is a widespread and understandable one: some audiences just aren’t engaged for whatever reason. But the answer is not to suddenly shift to the hard-sell. If you’re concerned that the performers won’t get enough energy coming to the stage, simply state from the outset that in order to make the program a success, the audience should kindly give each performer a round of applause and their full attention.

Charm and sincerity go a long way. If it is important to you (and it should be) that the audience pay each performer the respect of their full attention, find a way to convey it at the beginning of the program.

It may help to think of emceeing as being a commercial airline airline pilot. A pilot bolsters passengers’ confidence with his soothing demeanor, not manic faux-energy which normal people find unsettling and off-putting.

Being an exception emcee means covering more details and putting in more hours than anyone else on the bill. Avoiding these three mistakes is a good start.

Do you have a pet peeve about emcees? Share it in the comment section below.

Return to www.daviDDeeble.com or watch me perform the flaming marshmallow balance of mystery.

What’s the value of a two-dollar tip?

2What’s the value of a two-dollar tip? Some might say it’s nothing to scoff at. Others might suggest that it’s very much worth scoffing at. Others still might say it depends on the service rendered.

One interpretation that often escapes us: a two-dollar tip is worth two dollars (or two-hundred cents, 16 bits, etc.)

Too often we allow our characterization of things to eclipse the things themselves. When an athlete on the losing end of a contest is mocked for saying “It is what it is” he is uttering more wisdom than his critics know.

Return to www.daviDDeeble.com.

Exceptional Countries: Ranked

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10: South Sudan (world’s newest country)

9: Brazil (hosted World Cup, to host Olympics)

8: Germany (still scoring against Brazil, apparently)

7: North Korea (Elvis)

6: Canada (so big it could be it’s own country. Heh heh, American humor.)

5: Mexico: (number one exporter of Guatemalan babies)

4: United States (number one importer of Guatemalan babies)

3: South Africa (legless man vomiting in courtroom)

2: Iraq (what is it now?)

1: Russia (because a broken clock apparently can be wrong all day)

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Bill And Norma Deeble – An Appreciation

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When I was 13-years old I won the International Jugglers Association’s junior championships. This was a big deal to me but meant nothing to the world outside of the juggling community. My parents, however, made sure that our local newspaper, the Long Beach Press-Telegram, new about it. They even made sure that my best friend and 2nd-place finisher Rick Coleman was mentioned as well as our mutual coach and friend, Randy Pryor.

For 44 years they’ve been doing things like that for me. The only thing I can say with absolute confidence is that I have caused them much more grief than they have caused me – and all they do is love me up.

Thank you, mom and dad. I am proud to call you my friends, not just my parents.

Bill and Norma Deeble where they met and have spent much of their lives together - on a golf course.

Bill and Norma Deeble where they met and have spent much of their lives together – on a golf course.

 

The Mills Of The Gods Grind Slowly, If Ever So Fine

Lebron

Imagine for a moment that you are the best in the world at what you do. So good, in fact, that employers don’t choose you, you choose them. After several years with a particular company (in which you brought it unprecedented success), you decide to leave the company in order to test opportunities elsewhere.

Then something unexpected happens: your boss publishes on the company website an angry, highly-personal letter condemning your decision, the manner in which you made it, and you personally. (You are called, among other things, a “former hero”).

Six years pass. Your former boss becomes aware that you are again seeking to bring your unparalleled expertise elsewhere and, despite the anger expressed in the letter (which inscrutably remains on the company website), passions have since cooled and – perhaps more importantly –  your former boss is keen on retaining your services once again.

Then another ten days pass before the letter is finally taken down from the company’s website.

What would you think of your former boss? Would you be inclined to return to your former employer? Even after the letter is taken down? Despite the blatantly cynical (if incredibly tardy) reason it was taken down?

More to the point: does your boss think you’re some kind of primitive to fail to see through your ploy?

Welcome to the world of Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert and his former-employee, LeBron James.

On June 25 of this year, LeBron James declared free agency (from the Miami Heat). On July 7 – six years after publishing the letter and ten days after LeBron again declared free-agency, Gilbert began to see the importance of taking down the angry, resentful, highly-personal letter. 

If you were in LeBron’s powerful position, would you inclined to return to your former employer? Do Dan Gilbert’s actions exhibit the qualities one seeks in a franchise owner such as prudence, maturity and foresight? (Note that Gilbert has made no apology for the letter).

It just goes to show you that being highly successful doesn’t mean you know a damn thing about the internet, social media or public relations, let alone screen-capture technology. More importantly, being successful doesn’t mean you understand that what goes around comes around.

It’s said that the mills of the gods grind slowly, but ever so fine. It’s a lesson Dan Gilbert will soon learn when LeBron chooses his next employer.

Return to www.daviDDeeble.com

Sincerity and Sarcasm

Sarcasm is a funny thing. As evidence, I cite the fact that my mom doesn’t get it. But as a comedian it’s easy to forget that offstage – and in social media –  a little sincerity goes a long way.

I’m a big fan of sarcasm. All forms of comedy being equal, sarcasm might be my favorite. And there are times just hanging out offstage when when I engage it, especially when commiserating.

But a disinclination to be sincere is entirely different.

We all value sincerity, even – no, especially – those who are incapable of it. The man or woman incapable of sincerity is like the comedienne who is “always on” or the man who lacks the courage and maturity to say what he means and mean what he says. (Maturity, like sincerity, is a value which has fallen out of fashion, causing us  to ache for it even more).

If you’re like me, sincerity doesn’t come easy. It makes one feel vulnerable. But try it on for size and see how people react. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

If I’d known how happy marrying Sabine Kaintzyk would make me I would have done it long ago. #FinallyGrewUp

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