World Pole Dancing Competition – Las Vegas, Nevada

Who are we kidding? They can call it the “World Pole Dancing Championships” all they want – I call it “Competitive Stripping”. Don’t you think it’s odd that in the 20 year history of this competition it has never been won by anyone not named Candi or Lexi?

Now that I think of it, maybe pole dancing is a sport. And maybe lap dances are appropriate at your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.

They want me to believe that pasties are really just sporting equipment? This “competition” is nothing more than a showcase for bachelor party bookings. After some of the routines even the judges were making it rain, for crying out loud.

Now they want to put pole dancing in the Olympics. True, the first Olympians competed in the nude, but the first Olympians most certainly did not go on smoke breaks in plain view of arriving customers in clear violation company policy.