There’s Nothing Like Telling A Joke For The Second Time

How I work is I write down my thoughts, edit them down to size and then tell them to audiences as if they had just occurred to me. It’s sort of like acting in a play which you also wrote.

One of the challenges of performing new material is maintaining the same demeanor (i.e., feigning the same confidence) as those jokes which are time-tested. It’s like suddenly bluffing in poker after a long series of hot hands.

It’s very gratifying to try new material which receives the desired response. But in stand-up comedy the real rush comes from a new joke’s second telling because you know the audience will place a coda of laughter at the end. As a result, my anxiety is replaced with anticipation, uncertainty with confidence. Instead of anticipating and observing the audience reaction my mind is free focus on my delivery, which enhances my confidence, which increases the audience’s enjoyment, and so on.

It’s a virtuous cycle.

Thoughts, comments or angry retorts? Leave them in the comment section below.

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15 Things I’m Doing To Make The World A Better Place – And You Can Too

I’m all about two things: making the world a better place and learning how to count cards when playing blackjack for money against my mom. Today’s blog is about the former: 15 things I’m doing to make my world – and therefore the world – a better place.

1: Write the world’s first unauthorized autobiography, sue self.

2: Take 10 minutes each day to think of something other than broads and jazz bands.

3: When boarding plane, politely ask man in seat behind me if he would mind swapping seats so that his wife and I could sit together.

4: Write management at the Denver Zoo re: the proliferation of uncaged squirrels.

5: Install urinal in home bathroom, subtly remind wife who really calls the shots.

6: Write to Major League Baseball re: my ideas (bunt derby!)

7: Explain to mom that not knowing how to operate a fax machine doesn’t mean you’re out of touch – simply owning one does.

8: Write cease-and-desist letter to my Turkish barber.

9: End drug war, turn nation’s energy against people who crowd the feeder belt of the airport baggage carousel.

10: Build an airplane navigation system that isn’t compromised by someone playing “Angry Birds” during take-off.

11: Create list (for future reference) of all the reasons I am unfit to stand trial.

12: When listening to others, learn to overcome distractions like walls, floors, ceilings and all physical objects.

13: Talk with attorney re: possibility of witness tampering and point shaving charges against me being reduced to witness shaving.

14: Attend Burning Man, look for Dick Cheney.

15: Fig Newton bender!

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