Tag Archives: COVID
Fauci Fully Vaccinated Against Criticism
Sometimes A Strip Poker Invite Is Just A Strip Poker Invite
Even Freud recognized that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
As embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (D) fights off allegations ranging from the unserious (covering up the number of Covid deaths in state nursing homes) to the very serious (complimenting a woman’s haircut), it’s time our culture readdressed power dynamics, sexual harassment, and the #MeToo movement.
According to an AP report, a former member of the governor’s administration said that Cuomo suggested that they should play strip poker. Many readers, including myself, are asking the question has that ever worked?
Our era is one in which everything is fraught with a hidden meaning, usually of a sexual nature. Long gone are the days when a man can innocently invite an unpaid female intern who’s young enough to be his daughter to play strip poker without it being interpreted as something inappropriate. Men have been reminded repeatedly that No means no. This is as it should be. But shouldn’t it be equally clear that “Would you like to play a form of poker with me in which the player with the losing hand forfeits an item of clothing until we’re both naked?” means exactly that and nothing else? Why does everything have to be seen through a sexual lens?
Frankly I don’t even see the connection. What – is the idea that proposing to a subordinate that repairing to a cozy place where we can enjoy little privacy and play some cards in the nude somehow has sexual overtones? I honestly don’t get it.
Now don’t get me wrong: one should never make such a proposal. Not because of any alleged sexual connotation but because it’s a cliché. What could be more hackneyed than me, a 50-year old man living on a juggler’s salary trying to earn a little a few bucks off the new hire with an all-night round of strip poker?
If the people of New York believe Cuomo should resign, then he should do so. I have nothing personal against him. In fact, some of my best friends have made utterly counterintuitive decisions which cost the lives of thousands of people and then attempted to cover it up.
This just in: Cuomo has received a special Granny Award™ for his handling of the Covid crisis.
Munchkin Coroner: Wicked Witch Died Of Covid
Munchkinland – According to Munchkinland coroner Dweebnic McPhallanx III, the hated Wicked Witch of the East died of complications related to COVID-19. At an impromptu press conference where the old bat’s corpse was prominently displayed, the 712-year old McPhallanx stated “As coroner, I must aver, having thoroughly examined her that she’s not only merely dead she’s really quite sincerely dead.”
As the county seat of the Land of Oz, Munchkinland officials reserved the right to ensure that the daft shrew from hell – who was frequently seen without a mask – was legally, morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead.
The coroner’s announcement put to rest a widely-held conspiracy theory that the death of the vicious hag had to do with a frigging house landing on her dome.
Though Munchkindland was previously thought to be free of the virus, the coroner’s determination meant an automatic return to the lockdown policies imposed last March by the city’s absolutely adorable public health officials. Mayor Alperoo Vercingetorix IV added that in addition to a reimposition of mask requirements and social distancing mandates, Munchkin children would have to remain in their nests until further notice.
The old battle-ax’s funeral arrangements have not yet been made public, though the mayor assured the citizenry that “It’ll be a real rager.”
Enjoy this satire? Then share with a friend already! And thank you. – Dave