Illinois has been inundated with a rising tide of former governors as federal penitentiaries released hundreds of convicts over coronavirus concerns. In Chicago, residents were forced to evacuate their homes as basements became flooded with the likes of George Ryan (R., racketeering) and Rod Blogojevich (D., lying to federal agents.)
Downstate in Cairo, residents were forced onto rooftops as the confluence of the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers overflowed their banks with the addition of former Illinois governors Otto Kerner (D., mail fraud, conspiracy, perjury) and Dan Walker (D., bank fraud, filing false financial statements.)
At press time current Illinois governor J.B. Pritzker was purchasing a new home on high ground using funds donated to his re-election campaign.
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